A DARE TO DOUBT
Every
morning when I woke up, I closed my eyes and covered the mid of my face
with the palms of my hands, and said “thank you Lord for protecting me
during the night and guide me today in whatever I do.” I did this
everyday, and every sunday I went to church with my mom and read Bible
verses so that I could be called a Christian- a child of God. It felt
really good and safe to believe that someone was out there above the
clouds, watching on me, making sure I get food to eat, a bed and sheets
for my sleep, and a parent to support me. But what if all those prayers
and beliefs were illusions to make me feel better, protected and
important? Why did I believe in all that in the first place? Was it
because I knew it was true that there is a God and I had evidences and
arguments to prove it? Or this was just something i was raised and
taught to believe in?
I started questioning the existence of God in a Rwandan Genocide
Commemoration week. I was watching genocide movies, reading testimonies
and looking at pictures and something hit me at the back of my mind “
where was the Almighty when people suffered at this extent?”. I was
starting to get confused day by day when I saw street kids begging on
the streets and behind me there passes a BMW car with other kids sitting
in and licking on huge ice cream cones. Such a difference and
unfairness. Why would God choose some to be well out and others living
in hardships? Let’s take a good look on the Somali girls’ genital
mutilation. Why them and not us? What makes people better than the
others in this world? The injustice is so obvious and thick that I
wonder what God is waiting for to save his people, his children. Or else
he’s just not around and all this was just an illusion to make
ourselves feel protected and mattering to a King.
Why
did he create people anyways, If it was for them to come to this world
and suffer and others like Hitler to come and throw a World War? What
was the point? Anyone is going to say at this point that everything
happens for a reason. But what is the reason? That kind of statement
doesn’t just work everywhere. Some of us are naturally born lucky. Yes,
we get in some troubles at times, but there are some people who are
incomparably suffering more than us. We are like this probably because
we have great and rich parents, or we are smart and talented and people
notice us, we were born in a peaceful country and at a peaceful time, we
are loved and cared for, we are not handicaps and above all we have
hope. We have never given anything to receive all that and neither all
those people did anything to suffer that much. We might not have it all
but some people barely have nothing at all. So think twice: In the bible
God has done a lot of wonders, so why not now?
Look
around you, everything makes sense. This is our world. People like us
have done wrong and right and that is why everything is going on this
way. People got the key to open and close doors in this world, people
are in charge. There is no God like a human being who decides to give
you life or kill you. There is no God like a Human being who helps you
to get through a bad day and makes you smile or cry. There is no other
God that people are praying to everyday and prayers go unanswered.
People rule the world and they make everything happen the way they do.So
live, laugh, love and do good for the people close to you and those who
need help. Do never look away from unfortunate people. Help the world
each day in every way you can instead of being blinded by the belief
that God did all those tragedies for a reason.
Olga, how about you go to that old time and try to think how good you were? the question is why of all people Olga born smart, not handicapped or happy? why of all people you born from rich parent? God made you to think of the handicaps and try to made them happy, to give the street kids the ice cream that the rick kids in the BMW were eating. God exists and i strongly believe he does exists. if not for God, why are you alive? science itself can not prove the existence of man, many theories are out there but none of them says the truth? If Hitler did not exist, how would the world be? if Rwandan Genocide did not happen, would you be having H.E P.K as the president, do you think you would be born in this country. Please get me right, i am not happy that those "tragedies" . Those are the reasons that people(Christians) always. Try to look on the other side other the visible side. think out of the box and plus there is time for everything.
ReplyDeleteHey Olga. In Hebrews 13:8 says" Jesus Christ is the same yesterday,today and forever". You are right when you say that God did a lot a wonders in the past when you look in the Bible. He still does wonders you do not see it may be because you do not analyze what happens everyday around you. Who provides for you air to breath everyday? Who makes you feel guilty when you have done something wrong? Who created Adam and Eve? Who inspired people to write the Bible? Who created the Universe? All these prove that God exists for He has the power of doing things that men can;t do like the examples I gave above. Many things prove that God exists. He still do wonders today and we do not recognize it just because we do not analyze what Happens around us everyday. In John 3:16" For God so loved the world,that He gave his only begotten son , that whosoever believe in Him should not perish,but have everlasting life." Do you think that this verse is not true? Who came to die for us sinners? Who separated day and night?Who revealed to Daniel what King Nebuchadnezzar had dreamed about? All this prove that God exists. Who saved people from the Genocide? Even many people died in the Genocide there is a reason. Who knows? Maybe He wanted to teach a certain lesson. May be He wanted us to adapt to every situation that happens in life. There are street kids on the street because God has a reason. He ,maybe, wants to manifest His power through them. He, may be, wants people to be grateful for whom they are. May God manifest Himself to you.
DeleteI am very happy to hear from you. By trying to think how good I was, I think today I am better. Doubting that God exists doesn't make me any worse. If I am smart, healthy and happy, it doesn't make me look away from others. why can't others be like this? the issue here is not why i m alive or not (eventually i will die anyways) the issue is why us but not others? I understand literally why the belief in God in this world is stronger than anything because I know how challenging it is also as hard as you are seeing. Do not say the science theories are not true because if someone also asked you to prove who is God and where he came from you would not explain it either. H.E P.K is the best thing that ever happened to Rwanda yes, But he can't also heal the Traumas, the AIDS women got from rape in the Genocide, there is so much he can't do. I am not here to think about myself, I am here to think about the world at large. Look at the babies and little children crying on the street and you will know what I mean.
Deleteto the unknown, hello how are you?
DeleteI am not looking at the wonders God does around me, I am looking at the whole World in General. I am not blogging to talk about myself, but to share my perspective about the world and its beliefs. You know why a person feels guilty when he does something wrong? It is because he has done something he was raised not to do. It is the opposition of the norms and culture and beliefs and principles that makes people feels guilty. Let me ask you something, are you sure that Adam and Eve existed? was the person who wrote about them there when Adam and Eve were in Eden? Was Adam and Eve black or white, or Asian? If I wrote this, it is because I also once believed in God and I know what people think and believe in. It is so hard not to believe what the whole world believes in right?ask me I know the feeling.
What is the purpose of leaving a child an Orphan? What was the purpose of creating people who did so much wrong?
Tell me the lesson you learned from the Genocide? If Genocide did not happen we could have been even better off. The poverty, the diseases and traumas would be less in this country.Genocide did a lot of worse and do never ever even try to justify it by saying there is a reason why. People are in pain. and the moment you will stop a minute and not thank God just because you are alive and look at other suffering people you will know why. I looked beyond what others believed in, i dared to question this even though the whole World is going to be against this. Believe in who You want but at the end of the world ask yourself why you believe.
to the person who commented this:
ReplyDelete"Hey classmate.I believe that the challenges you are facing right now are the ones making you write this whole nonsense. Olga,just imagine one thing who created your first ancestor?And about why people face hardships, GOD does that to create testimonies and because he's got plans for each and every person. And back to what you said that there should have never existed diseases, genocide, trauma and all that, let me ask you this: how would "that world" be different from heaven? Well, We are not here to live however we wish to live. We are not our own creators, "THE ALMIGHTY GOD, OUR LORD ABOVE" is our creator, he created us and all the tragedies and challenges so that at one time or another We might see that He is the only one able to save us from all those traumas and diseases for the sake of His name to be known and His power to be praised. "Ngo ntawubona urumuri atarabonye umwijima"..Briefly,don't lie to us that you were once a believer because if that was so, you wouldn't be wasting your time writing about what every human being believes in. God does not answer according to what our wishes are neither does He give solutions the way that we want them to be given. We do not command God when and what to do. He decides what's worth and best for us. If all the troubles you are having deep down in your heart are not yet removed, it does not mean that God does not exist. YOU SHOULD NOT PRESSURE GOD, Whether You deny Him or not, He does EXIST!
Please,please stop writing nonsense."
The problem with you my dear is that you refute what I say by saying it is nonsense. Do not insult people because you refuse to understand them or they don't believe what you believe in. By your question of who created my first ancestor, I would ask you to consult what we call Evolution. And okay, you are saying the reason why there are hardships is because God wants to create testimonies???what? so he created all this to make a great movie to watch or something? scroll up my dear and take a look at the picture of this article and stare intensely at it and tell me what you see. you mean making people as painful as that is worth it just to create testimonies? are even listening to yourself? and again you are saying God does whats best for us? what is best for that Kid? maybe because you have eaten your breakfast today you think that is how everyone's life is going on right now. think again, you will find out that the best yo are talking about is the best you have but honey it is not for everyone. I won't pressure what I don't even believe exists. I just wanted to see if people have firm arguments of their beliefs in God... But you tried.
Agahozofan says
ReplyDelete"I guess u do not feel better than u were because every second of your life you think about if what your friends/classmates or even your mother do is right. whenever you see your friends/classmates pray you take them as crazy people who do not know what they are doing and then you start your doubts( Please quote me well, that is what I think not what I know). Back then, you thought that it was normal to see people pray. The question is still there, why you? if you were given a very limited amount of life(everybody will die), what did you use it for? we are made to make a change in somebody s' life,for example: you, the smart girl,teaching the other one who you think is not smart but did you use the opportunities to teach that poor kid. A person is given the ability to be selfless by the Almighty because human nature is selfish. If the world was made of happy and reach people, who would bother knowing why you are alive. You can not know the importance of light when you can see it there, darkness has to come for you to know the importance of light.Yes, H.E P.K does not heal the AIDS from rape but he gave peace to those people and they are able to walk safely around the country without anyone blaming them. He can not heal the traumas but people know that at least they are not going to be killed in the morning, they think they still have a moment to live. And for your information Olga, God heals AIDS that many doctors are not able to heal.Human nature is bad and you can forgive if it is not for the Almighty and gain peace in their heart. That is where H.E Paul Kagame can not reach. That is why God has limited him for you guys to know that he exists. I myself can not prove the existence of man but you also know the truth that science does not prove well the existence of man, they are still doubting. We christians believe that God created man and that everything that is on earth was created by that same person who some people nature. I guess when times come, You will know that God exists and that he works every second of our lives"
for agahozofan: you can not just decide on how a person feels like everyday when you also ( as everything else we re talking about) can't prove it. haha. In everything I have said i did not say people are doing anything wrong. I never take my friends as crazy people, that is your assumption, please and please read and quote me well always before writing anything.You know what I do with my life? I LIVE IT( if you know what living and not just existing means. I love, I feel every emotion, I look at everything and wonder about it, I believe in what i truly believe in without any doubts, I stray from fear to let the World know who I really am. satisfied?
DeleteAnd why are you saying that I am here to teach people who are not smart? I am hear to question a belief. and do not see me as a criminal because I have a different perspective and belief. Do not be afraid I am not here to take away your faith, I am just daring to doubt a God.
my friend what does this mean :"If the world was made of happy and reach people, who would bother knowing why you are alive?? I dont know if I understand your statement clearly but do you mean that poor and suffering people are there to make you feel like you are better off and better because you compare yourselves to them or what?
People are walking safely around the country and cool they are alive... are you sure that you know what being alive means? are you sure that you know their nightmares and the pain in their wounds? Honey don't just people moving on the same road as you and assume they are alive like you. I am not here to talk about me too I am here to talk about the world.You are saying God limited the ability of people to do good to make himself be known? then what? selfish ain't he?(sorry if I offend you but think twice and you will know why I said that) .
simple question: Define God?
do you really know what is God and where he came from? explain for me because I am probably the one that don't understand?
Science does prove the existence of man honey, read more... but can christians explain the existence and where God came from?
thanks for your views my friend I am so happy that this conversation is taking place
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOzsjEmjjHs
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJvEoLPLIg8
Hello Olga, Please watch these videos and think alot about them.... may God give you some answers through it
1. It is her right to question God's existence given the amount of doubts and evidence she shows in the post and she has more in her head I'm sure.
ReplyDelete2. Those who are simply judging her for questioning God are all hypocrites because let's not veil our faces, we all reach that point where nothing- literally nothing makes sense to us and we wonder where the God we pray went.... Some have almost unshakable faith and that push them to pray even more, others think that everything happens for a reason and they don't want to start a fight with God while a few like Olga actually share their doubts.
3. Those who think that she commited a sacrilege by doubting God so openly, well if our God is a father, a listener and loves us so much, doesn't that gives us the right in fact tp play with the Almighty? And if the God we believe in allows things that don't make sense to us human to happen, he'll definitely understand our questioning of his acts.
Now, this post overall for me didn't sound as atheist. In fact, it sounded like she acknowledges that there is a greater Being than us. And her confusion is just from the feeling of helplessness -the fact that there is nothing she can do to reverse what she sees as unfairness.
She is in a great period of time where God needs to manifests himself in her life.
And finally, she just has a huge heart and she is very compassionate.
Amandine Manywa
Amandine,
DeleteYou can not understand how much I feel so grateful that finally somebody understands what all this means and the reason behind sharing something like this that I knew in the first place was going to make some people furious. But still I did because I felt like I have the right to question and being afraid to say what you think in this world can shut a person down.
Thanks once again for understanding...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGod created for a purpose������if he did then it must be that he was getting the solution for the mess he'd allowed to take place...all of us(and everything that happens to us) got caught up in the process������
ReplyDeleteIf people in the eastern provence have famine and at the same time others are having leisure in the carfreeday (that's a basic example), it should make one check again their position about poverty and richness even wars all that comes with all of that...'cause then clearly God then has no sense of social justice or if they're the ones who cause/choose it, he should be ashamed I'd say, that they got out of his control.
That being said in this latter case, they're accountable of what they do, it all lies in one's head, and as she says, humans, right now, have the ability to change the course of the world...end world hunger, better health, great standards of living etc
Soo poverty, wars, richness etc are conditions we live in nd pass through to grow our universal love of the person next to us.
#Word...
DeleteGod sometimes challenges us with situations that he wants us to question deeper and come up with right responses. You like anybody else has the total right to question any aspect of life. If God includes all those differences and inequalities in our lives as you say, well I think it's because he wants us to come up with solutions, compassion, understanding and any other thing that brings us closer to him. Your questioning proves that you are very concerned about what other people are enduring in their lives and the humanity as a whole. I hope God reveals you what your mission on earth is and go on making this world better.
ReplyDeleteGreat understanding Tania... I am surely concerned with the humanity and I hope to get an answer and above all get a chance to always help even 0.5% of them if possible.
Deletethanks